Wednesday, 29 July 2015

A cautionary elf tale

Inviting elves to live in the garden seemed like a good idea, unfortunately they invited smurfs to join them and all hell broke loose. Last year, after being inspired by Pinterest, I decided make a delightful elf garden. After spotting a little pottery house in a charity shop in Deal, I couldn't wait to get started and went straight to the garden centre for an enormous plastic pot and pretty, delicate plants. I knew I wanted a lawn outside my little house, so I also bought a roll of turf (big mistake). Perfect, I thought. I carefully made my little elf garden complete with little wooden fencing, a chair on the lawn and stepping stones. It looked fab. Easter came and we decorated it with easter flags and hid mini eggs in the flowers. Oh how pretty it looked, how enchanting. My daughter loved it.

Very quickly it became annoying. Seriously annoying. I was having to cut the elf lawn (with scissors) more than I had to cut our actual full-size lawn. Leave it a week and it grew taller than the elf house, leave it two weeks and it started to go straggly and a bit dead. I cut it back week after week. Until I forgot about it, and got a life of my own. Then the lawn went brown. So, as you do, I just left it. "Those elves can do their own gardening", I said to my little one.
Weeks later, I noticed the elves had put their washing out, and just like me, left it there all summer. It rained and they didn't bother taking it in (Oh, the neighbours did talk). Then the lawn went seriously bad, so they gravelled it. Sensible I thought. They put in a veg plot and planted greens. Lovely. 
And then at some point they invited smurfs to stay. These are some of the photos I took today of the beautiful enchanting elf garden, complete with drunk or stoned smurf, trashed veg plot, mysterious precious stones, shells and pom poms??????? Moral of the story: Never leave an elf garden unattended, and keep away from smurfs.

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